Today I had to take a break and do a little celebration dance.
Why? Because I sat calmly through 30 division problems as my daughter tried and messed up over and over.
That seems silly, that someone who loves to homeschool, and adores her kids, should struggle tooth and nail to be patient while her kids learn a new skill.
My patience is ok semi ok. It is certainly better, after years of prayer and practice and sweat, (probably literally), and tears. And thankfully no blood. ;)
My tongue seems to be less ok. I can look back on many, many times that I’ve regretted what I’ve spoken, sometimes immediately afterward.
So, sitting calmly, redirecting, and gently correcting mistakes through a division lesson, (probably my most despised subject), was a big deal, and I almost MISSED IT.
In fact, I went about my business and heard the voice of my Heavenly Father…..celebrating.
You see, God doesn’t look at life the way we do.
1 Samuel 6:14 “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
So while I was concerned with going about my normal routine, God saw that little success that no one else did.
What we speak comes directly from our hearts. ( Luke 6:45 “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”) So, while I was tempted, more than once, to say something sarcastic, or to rush my daughter through something that was hard for her, I didn’t.
Heart: 1
Flesh: 0
THAT IS A BIG DEAL FOLKS!
Was God really celebrating something so “small”? You bet he was! He is proud when we overcome our shortcomings in the face of adversity.
As mothers, we are against adversity of the most difficult kind. We are face to face with….ourselves…every single day. We get to know, and dread, those parts of us that are imperfect, irritating, or sad. I believe that this can create a cycle of fear and worry. We worry that, of all the things that could damage our children in the world, we are their worst danger. That cycle of fear, worry, disappointment, and guilt can trap even the most confident mother.
Society will look at those “small” moments as unimportant.
~Kind words in the middle of the night. (Yawn)
~Physically holding your mouth shut when the temptation to yell is overwhelming. (Can you say “getting ready time”?)
~An extra bedtime hug, (or 5) when your favorite show is on TV. (Just go to SLEEP little boogers!)
In all probability, no one is going to notice those sacrifices you make to overcome your own whackadoodle responses to things that push your buttons. Not your kids. Maaaaybe your husband. Certainly not society. Probably not even yourself.
But don’t you for one minute think that those things go unnoticed, or for that matter, uncelebrated. You are a daughter of a Father who lets out a big ol’ whoop of joy and dances around when He sees your efforts.
Zephaniah 3:17 “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."
It wasn’t easy, and probably no other person noticed or appreciated it. But your heart is growing and changing, and that is far, far more important than your unwashed _____________. (Insert whatever applies: hair, dishes, laundry, children, dogs. We know there is something.)
So take a minute and pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a high five. Dance the Macarena.
You did it! Go Mommy!