In our small town, homeschooling is not very common. In fact, it is almost nonexistant. We have a great, tight-knit community and a wonderful school district with two great schools. (Incidentally, both of them are just mere blocks away from our home. The Jr./ Sr. High where my husband teaches is right outside our front door.)
From the time my daughter was in Kindergarten I've gotten so many questions about homeschooling. There can be lots of curiosity, doubt, misunderstanding. In our current age of public schooling, why would anyone want or need to keep their kiddo at home?
Good question. I have an answer for OUR family, but I know for a fact that it is not the same for every homeschooling pod, so there is no one "right" answer or choice.
However, I know that I was placed on a path in life. I cannot always see the bends in the road, or plan for the pitfalls that await me. I do know that my Maker is with me, and He guides me along. Should I chose to listen to Him, I will find wisdom, peace that requires no understanding, and most importantly, love. I know what is at the end of my road even if I do not know how my travels will go in-between.
One of my biggest lessons learned in my homeschooling journey thus far is: God has created me to be ME! My unique talents, abilities, and even weaknesses are all a part of who I am, who I am becoming each day. I feel so free knowing that I can follow God's voice and He will show me exactly how to seek and find the woman He wants me to work on becoming!
So, when I talk about homeschooling, and sound giddy, or excited, that seems strange to some people. Some might think that I am about to tell them that EVERYONE should homeschool. They might worry that I'm a religious nut who has such a consuming fear of the world and it's ability to warp her children that she will not allow them outside of our home. Or that I'm such a know-it-all that I assume I can teach my child better than any well-educated teacher out there.
Not so.
Below I've listed some of the many questions I've received about homeschooling, and I'll answer them to the best of my ability, so that you might be able to catch a glimpse into our lives and see that a homeschoolin' Momma is not really an alien. Better yet, she is probably just like you. :)
"Why would you homeschool when your husband is a teacher?" (#1 most common question).
My husband's profession has very little to do with it. It is more about our child than her Dad's career, although he does give an insight into the school system that some don't get to see. (For example, the more strict rules about God in schools.)
"Aren't you hindering her social development?"
Not if we have anything to say about it. She is involved in lots of extracurricular activities. She has great friends. She has a best friend. She can share, problem-solve, she has manners, a kind heart, empathy. In fact, all of those attributes that she uses outside of the home, she learned inside of the home.
"Does she have some sort of learning disability?" "Is she academically gifted?"
No, and no. She was ready for school about a year earlier than most, but she has never shown signs of being the next Albert Einstein. (As many of our wonderful, well-beloved children never do!) She likes math, is good at science, has a creative mind, and struggles with reading. Typical of most 7 year olds.
"Are you just afraid of letting her out of the house?"
Depends on how you mean. Will I let her run into the street? Nope. Will I let her watch R rated movies? Nope. Does she go to sleepovers? Yep. Do I let her swim/ ride horses/ climb trees/ go to Birthday parties? You bet! Homeschooling, for us, does not have anything to do with shielding our child from the world, although we DO have limits and try to give her an innocent childhood.
"Are you just Bible-thumpers who are never going to let your child see what the "real world" is like?" (Paraphrased).
We are Christians. We pray at mealtimes, read our Bibles to our kids, go to Church, and try our best to live life as God asks us to. We do feel saddened that God has been left out of schools, and that things would be different if prayer/ Godly behavior and expectations were a guideline in schools. BUT, our God is BIGGER than any rule or regulation, so we know that He is still there, in the schools, every day.
As homeschooling parents, we do enjoy the freedom of talking about God, anytime, anywhere, during any lesson. Who wouldn't love to talk about His magnificent creation when learning about how a cloud forms?
"How did you decide to become a homeschoolin' Momma?"
It just sort of happened. Our daughter struggled with certain aspects of public preschool. We wanted to do the best thing for her, as most parents do. Turns out, this was it. God pointed out the way, we followed, and here we are! Our daughter thrives, so we are content/ blessed/ amazed/ thankful.
"Are you worried that she won't be as "smart" as public schooled kids?"
Thankfully, no. I am NOT a certified teacher in any way. But, we found an online school that follows and conforms to all the state regulations and standards, so we know she is getting the same education as the other kidlets in our town, albeit a different one....if you see what I mean. ;)
"Do you think everyone should be afraid of public schools or keep their kids home?"
Of course not. Every parent-child combo is different. I can't tell you how to raise your child any more than you should tell me how to raise mine. They are all unique, strange, crazy little buggars with no instruction manuals anywhere on their wiggly bodies, so I say, "Find a method that works and GO WITH IT."
"Don't you need TONS of patience to homeschool?"
Well, I sure do work on it every day! Just because I love it does not mean I never have bad days. The bad might even equal outnumber the good most days. But when something is right, its right. No matter how hard. No matter the personal struggles and sacrifices. It is STILL RIGHT. (And yes, I CAN be patient, when I want to. And no, I'm NOT always patient, even though I can be. Just try to imagine the way you'd act around your pastor, and the way you act around your kids. See what I mean? It CAN be done, even if it is NOT always done.) ;)
*Side note* This question is my favorite, so I saved it for the end. Not that it is the funniest, or strangest, but because I think it has so much to do with some of the bigger issues going on inside our schools these days. It hits at our deepest fears as Mothers, gives us sleepless nights, and awakens what many of us know as the "Mama Bear". (Ever met her? I have. Boy oh boy. Have. I. Ever.)
"How will your child learn to deal with conflict later on in life if s/he never deals with a bully?"
Well, I suppose if life's difficult experiences were best approached with practice, then maybe my kids would be missing out on something crucial by never being bullied. However, I just don't think that applies, and here is why.
~Take childbirth. Sure, it is an intense, (many will say painful) experience. It is inevitable for most women. Did I have to go through pain, fear, and discomfort as a "practice" before I went through pain, fear, and discomfort later on in life? No. But how did I know how to deal with it? How did I know not to shoot myself/ others, or lock myself away and refuse help?
Because I was raised with the coping mechanisms I'd need for many aspects of life.
My trust in God.
My faith in myself.
My appreciation for life: my own, others' lives.
All these, and more, are things that we strive to teach our children. One day, in the workplace, or with friends, they will encounter something unpleasant. Peer pressure. Bullying. Lies. Stealing. Illegal behavior.
How will they know what to do if they've never seen it?
Because they'll KNOW.
They'll know the difference between right and wrong.
They'll know what their parents, and what their God, expects of them.
They'll know that another's actions do not determine their own reactions.
Does this mean I have utter faith in my children's abilities to always do the right thing? (Chuckle)
Of course not.
Yes, I WISH they would.
But am I crippling them for the future? Am I making it impossible for them to cope with badness/ evil in the world because I'm not exposing them to badness/ evil now? No.
(If the bullying-and-children issue has you worried, or you'd like to know more about our decisions, I encourage you to read Dr. Dobson's book, "Bringing up Girls". It had much to do with furthering our understanding of where God was leading us on this journey.)
I know that there are other questions, but I hope this covers most of them. Of course, I am always open to answering any others. I love questions!
My #1 message here is:
Raising children is hard. It is beautiful, wonderful, strange, exhilarating, fulfilling, awe-inspiring, momentous.
But. It. Is. Hard.
We all find our own ways to bring these funny little creatures from helpless babes to competent, able-bodied, wonderful adults. (We hope).
There is no "one" way to do it! There is no right answer!
So the time for judgement, criticism, doubt, is over. No more do we moms need to be pitted against each other and our child-rearing choices. Let us stand behind each other, hand out a pat on the back, and cheer each other on!
Because lets face it, if we don't cheer each other on, who will?
