Well, here goes my very first attempt at blogging, although it has been a long time coming. I know that blogs are a good way for family and friends to keep up with each other, but that is not my main, (albeit a good), reason for doing this.
Most of my friends with children will understand when I say that the (almost) only person I talk to on the phone is my mom. She does not mind when our conversations are punctuated by "No,no,no!", and "Don't feed him that!", or "That is NOT what underwear is used for, dear." My friends all go through the same things each day, so while we do sometimes try to catch up on the phone, I think most of us give up before trying and just hope to run into each other at the park instead.
The past two years have been "nudgers" for me. (Yeah, I think I just made that word up, but bear with me...) I have been nudged by God, my conscience, and my own ambitions to change the way I look at and do things. My daily thoughts are crazy, but probably not all that unusual for most mommies, who can think up a storm in addition to cleaning toilets, dog puke, and other mysterious and random stains. So, below I've listed a few of the BIGGER issues and thoughts that plague my days and sleepless nights.
Becoming a better, not-ever-nagging wife to my hardworking and very busy husband- Filtering out the things that reach my little one's eyes, ears, and ultimately, hearts- Growing into the woman God wants me to be, despite the fact that every time I think I might be getting there, I crash back to reality and realize that I'm nowhere near it- Fully understanding that God loves me anyway, just the way I am, which includes a lot of perfectionism and nerdiness- Trying to make better choices about what goes on my children, (like soap and shampoo), now that I've mostly sort-of conquered the dilemma of what goes into them, (food, technology)- Possibly becoming Amish to avoid having to make these decisions? Ha, just kidding. Kind of- Fears about totally ruining my Hippie, ahem, free spirited child by letting her be homeschooled by me, a not-so-certified teacher- Somehow strengthening my children's spirituality when I'm not so sure mine is good enough to be exemplified, yadayadayada.....
And of course, the list goes on and on. Here I was, trucking along in high school just the other day, and WHAM, I'm a mom now! (Not really the other day, but hey, it feels like that some days.) Being a mom means that I am responsible for these two very helpless, precious human beings, and so help me, I'd rather not screw them up....too badly.
So where is this all headed? Well, I think I am going to use this blog to remember my life right now, (did I mention the sleepless nights?), cause I really can hardly remember my own name half the time, and to get my thoughts out there. I know some of my lovely girlfriends that blog would probably tell me that it can be fairly therapeutic. And who knows, maybe someone along the way will read this and tell me how to get-more-sleep-clean-that-stain-teach-my-daughter-fractions-become-more-spiritual-and-be-a-better-wife/ cook/mommy/person. Right?
