Little Home on the Prairie: Little bit of Heartbreak

This morning was a little bit of a hard one. Actually, it was not as bad as it could have been, because I had done some pre-greiving. (Anyone else do that?)

I know the Bible says to let tomorrow's troubles wait until tomorrow, but sometimes I feel a little better when I feel sad about something in advance.

So for the past week and a half, I've been giving myself a countdown.

-The last time Daddy takes out the trash

-The last time he loads BOTH kids up and takes them to the library so I can have a minute of peace

-Last time the car gets filled with gas without my even noticing

-Last time we get to tag-team a trip to the grocery store, (and Mr. Dinner Bell so sweetly ~~hauls~~ carries the crazy child out to walk in the parking lot after he ~~destroyed~~ ~~demolished~~ explored the store.)

I laughed with friends about how years ago I encouraged my husband to become a teacher since it was such a nice, 9-5 kind of job. Home for dinner, home on the weekends, leave your work at work kind of job.

Ha. Yes, those of you out there who teach, coach, or are married to teachers probably feel sorry for me right now. I've felt sorry enough for myself, and happily, I've learned to not only cope with the crazy life that a wife of a teacher/ coach/ award-winning educator has, but I thrive, enjoy most of it, and survive very well.

BUT, that does not make the transition from Summertime to Schooltime any easier. The transition is actually quite huge and covers everything from schedules, duties, and most importantly, the children. Even though the Miss understands, she still struggles for weeks. This is Damek's first "official" transition, since he was too little last year to get it, and I'm not sure how he will feel about it. I know he will miss his wrestling buddy dearly, and he won't have the words to tell me that he is hurting.

I told the Mr. over and over that I would not cry in front of him when he left. I made a big deal about how strong I was and how he would know what a capable woman he was leaving at home to raise his kids and make a home for him to come back to.

Ha. Again. Last night came way too soon, and I was up half the night with a tummy upset with stress, or worry, or more likely the ~~bad for me~~ yummy food I had eaten at the Girl's Night recently. Either way, I was up on the couch until midnight, and I was no longer thinking about all the chores and duties that I was going to have to do alone and how hard it would be for me to be kind/ patient/ peaceful/ calm/ loving in the face of struggle.

Nope.

I had a new list running through my mind.

-The Mr. popping his head into an open window, (while doing yardwork) to scare me/ make me laugh

-Making forts for the kids in a room that I had just cleaned

-Helping me make a delicious dinner out of nothing

-Little bike rides and trips to the pond to let the kids ramble around and look at everything and nothing in particular at all

-Chasing me through the house

-Climbing back into bed as I was in the middle of making it

-Planning our future "Hobbit" house together

-Hours and hours at the pool with the kids, acting like a kid himself and making me laugh at his antics

I crawled back into bed, sore in the tummy and very sore at heart. I woke him up to cry, (yes indeed), and tell him that he was my best friend, and everywhere I went for the next month I'd be expecting him right around the corner, or in the window. I'd be waiting for him to make us all laugh, or start wrestle fights, or suggest trips to the Hardware store every other day, but he would be gone.

His time and efforts now belong to a much larger group of people, and they often will for the next 9 months. I can't wait to see him become a pumped-up coach, and surprise us all with his great teaching ideas, and even help him grade mountains of papers on the weekend.

But still.

I will miss this....